There are a lot of things swirling around in my brain. Theology, music, injustice, poverty, wealth, Jubilee, wealthy actors and politicians preaching to us about ending poverty when they could sell a couple of houses or cars and make a huge dent in poverty, the church being accused of not being the church (which I think is true in some aspects, but I am tired of hearing all the complaints and just want to see the beauty of the church being the church), "Christian Family Fun" nights that have nothing to do with living out the Gospel in our neighborhoods, how much time is wasted in my day, the art of trying to be in the now and not always thinking about what is next but planning on what is right around the corner, liberal theologians that everybody listens to, Shane Claiborne, professional Christians, the King of Kings, and my lovely wife.
And some wonder why my blog takes so long to be updated. Bret Favre needs to hang it up and not play for the Vikings.
I get to preach Sunday which makes me nervous. There is so much to be said, so much that I want to say. I like when people like me, and so I like when people like my sermons. I want people to be changed (I know that this is the work of Holy Spirit - God). I desire for them to not just file it away as another nice talk. I desire God's voice to be heard through the Scriptures. I desire this in our youth ministry. I think however, that I am too serious for some of our youth. I believe some of them want to have fun in our gathering times. Which, I am not the fun Nazi - I just want the time i spend with them to have eternal significance, even if we are playing kick ball. Some would say, lighten up, man. Others would say, if you don't preach truth then who will? I do not want to entertain youth. I desire to make disciples. I think that can be done in a fun and inspirational way, don't get me wrong. It is a balancing act, this "ministry" thing. I mean, I wonder whether my job is really biblically justifiable. If I am a pastor who works with a certain demographic within our congregation and also fulfilling a pastoral role in other ways than, I am cool with that. But to be a "youth minister/director" than I am not sure I am the right man for the job. I mean, that I want people to encounter Jesus, not fads or me or opinions or the funniest videos or ugg...
I have a hard time living out Christ on my own. I need others to help me along. I need the Scriptures to encourage and exhort and discipline and correct and cut and tear and heal and smash and stab and destroy and alarm and disarm and shut my mouth and put words in my mouth and love and cause me to move. I suck at being a professional Christian. I suck at saying the "right" things and playing politics. I am horrible at making sure I connect to everyone. I think that peace is a good thing, but believe that peace will only come when the Prince of Peace reigns on the earth. I will love my neighbor and my enemy but I will trust that God is not letting the righteous be put to shame. I don't look good in public. I am hairy. There are holes in my actions and motives. There is hope.
Jesus is my righteousness. Jesus is my good. Jesus is working in and through me. Jesus is the hope of Glory. Jesus. My God, My Savior, My Jesus.