So the Beach is Behind us...

There is a big change in landscape...

A Little Scar Tissue

Things have been fast paced in my world recently. It all started two weeks ago with the removal of a cyst from the back of my neck. The doctor numbed it and then sliced me open and cut the thing out. Kimberly nearly passed out in the observation of the whole thing. The only thing that made me a little unnerved was the blood trickiling down the left side of my neck as I lay face down, helpless on the operating table. I had a retreat to speak at the following day and kept pretty good strength although a little loopy when I took the pain meds. Everyone said it looked gross and I was just sore. The following Sunday, Easter, we left for Mississippi to be with Kimberly's family. I was feeling really naucious the whole trip and Kimberly drove so I could sleep. She normally makes it so I drive. She was such a wonderful wife on the trip. I kept feeling bad on into Monady and that night had a fever that ached through out my entire body. All through the night I tried to sleep. I mostly just sweat my way through the night. I felt cold though like I was outside in Ohio during the winter with no clothes on. I wore a pair of Kim's sweat pants, that I managed to put on backward. They barely fit my large body and I sort of just wished I could die. The morning brought liquid poop. Sixteen trips to the ol' porceilin throne. The trip home that day was difficult though I didn't drive. I had little or no appetite the whole day. Once we crossed the bridge in Pensacola our driverside back tire blew. Kelly, my sister in law, was driving the huge family van and was able to pull off and stop without killing us. Changing tires are not fun. Let alone on the side of the interstate, at night with two babies, three women and Franky. No offense to my wife's sister's boyfriend. There wasn't much he could do. I placed the jack in the wrong spot to jack up this monstrosity of a vehicle. And the wheel didn't go high enough to get the spare on. Fun. Kern, my father in law called a cousin of Susan, my mother in law, to come and help. He just happens to live in P-cola. He came and in like 5 minutes we were on the road. After two hours, he show up with an extra jack and everything is right as rain, mostly. I had to go to the bathroom again. We got back to home fine. Two days later we were heading out for another great adventure. This time it would be to Atlanta with the Covenant Seniors...

Fearful Excitement

Well, we have finally set a date for moving from Panama City Beach to Boston. At the very last of June we are hoping to be on our way to Beantown. Kimberly and I were in the car yesterday thinking, "this time next year we are going to be Bostonians?!?" It is weird to think about and yet it is what we know we are supposed to do. I think sometimes, "what if I don't measure up?" What if I don't 'make it happen'? It is a scary thing launching out into uncharted waters. I mean we have been in communication with some people in Boston, but I have never been there, I do not know what to expect as far as ministry environments are concerned. It will be good to own my own vision and to see if I have what it takes to serve the Lord without the umbrella of a "church". It is still scary to think that everything will come down to me and my decisions (for the most part). I just want to do this right. Everyone doubts my ability to make a living on my own. It is a scary thing to know the people who you admire and look up to don't think you can make it on your own. They haven't come right out and said it but, I just get the feeling that if they were straight up they would tell me that they think I'm lazy. That because I don't have a secular job that I am aimless and lacking in being able to provide for myself. I am 28 and for the last 4 years I have only really known church work. Which, I believe to be very hard work. It may not be a physically demanding deal, but my emotions and what not have been through the ringer. I sound so mopey. I have hope in Jesus and I can do all things throgh Him who strengthens me - even work at a "real" job.
Pray for me.

So this is Trust

Medical things keep adding up. Ever since Kimberly was diagnosed with Diabetes we have faced the money crunch. I can see why health care is such a "big deal" for Americans. I mean between her testing strips to her meds and insulin there is a lot of things to purchase. The Insurance only goes so far. So we are left trusting. Trusting that we can pay for it. Trusting that God will indeed provide for us. We believe that Jesus meets our every need and that He will meet this one as well. Her sugar doesn't want to stay stable so that is a bit on the frustrating side of things, but to be honest I guess I need to talk to God about that. I trust that He can bring this under control.

Boston. Boston? Boston.

Here I am supposed to be getting ready for a weekend retreat I am speaking at and once again I find myself drawn to what I can put off till later. I am not very good at typing. That is why I think I don't blog as much as I should. I don't do alot of things I should do. Like, take out the trash and generally help my wife out at home. I don't get the things done that I should get done first then have time to do things that are a little less meaningful. We are moving to Boston soon. In July, I think. I have never been to Boston but I hear it is a beautiful place. I know it will be a crowded place and I am a little frightened by that. I am not one for crowds or driving in big cities so who knows how this is going to go. But I believe this is where God is leading our family so I must go. We are going to start a collegiate church in Boston. I am excited and yet know that it is going to take hard work and sacrifice to accomplish our goals there. If anyone reads this and loves Jesus please pray for us.

2005...A Space Oddity

So 2005 rumbles in with a Tsunami and continued problems all over the globe. I think that everyone is happy that 2004 is over. Speaking of '04...

2004 "the year of Dynamite"
The brightest spots of 2004 had to be Napoleon Dynamite. In a summer of tired movies Napoleon Dynamite was worth the price of admission all three times. In a year that saw curse's lifted - (Red Sox Finally!) and ever increasing woes (the Cleveland Browns debacle). ND helped me get through. But enough about pulp culture.

Personally, the end of 2004 (August to December) was increasing time of self awareness and denial. From my grandmother's passing and the insuing family argument to the revelation of a life lived in guilt and shame. All in all, I think 2005 can only be better. I wish now that I was a better writer. I wish that I was able to put down my life so that people could read it and grow. Or at least I could read it and move on.

Grandma Metz was a wonderful woman. She was funny and articulate. She wrote many poems and helped keep the family abreast on gossip. She had a private faith and a loving tenderness. And yet at times she had a wicked tongue. I was given the privaledge to preach her funeral. Talk about hard to do. It was a pleasure however in helping my family move on from Grandma's departure. She had cancer and was ready my Dad had said. I believe my grandma lived a full life raising 6 children and mourning the loss of one. She lives on in our memories and our thoughts.

Kimberly and I have the opportunity to possibly serve in Boston. Please pray for us about that. I'll be updating here more regularly.

Peace Out