Monday, September 10, 2007

The Struggle of Being in a Family

My mom's dad and husband (my grandpa and my step-dad) were both killed in an accident a little over a year ago. That accident changed a lot of people's worlds. Since that accident, Kimberly and I have left Boston, lived in Tennessee, Irving, Texas and now in Madison, Alabama. Beyond geographical locations we have been changing as well. This blog isn't about me though. It is about my Mom. She is lonely. My Mom is 51 and she is alone. She and my sister are not on good terms. Mainly because each wants something from the other without real consideration of the other's feelings. My mom has just recently been calling me and ranting about how no one cares about her. She goes on, very angrily about how her family (I am included) has left her and does not want anything to do with her. She has stated over and over again that a person who says they love her would not leave her the way she is. One problem is that my Mom thinks that she has changed. She thinks that because she has read some books on forgiveness and understands those words she has forgiven. She also, functions out of a need to be right. Now, I admit some of that comes from her very German background but, mostly it comes out of the unredeemed flesh. I am writing all of this because I do not know what to do. My heart longs to make things right for her and with her. My desire is to see her healthy and able to function. However, day after day she keeps doing the same things expecting different results. She doesn't listen, she only talks and if you disagree with her she thinks it is you that has the problem. I want the Lord to change her heart. I desire for Jesus to be real to her. But, I know that I can not be the seed planter. I know that my watering attempts are futile. So, I pray for other laborers. Please, Jesus send my Mom some believers!

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